Going Flat after Christmas dinner, Play Games continue…

Posted by dodo

Another very good game which can be scaled down to any age group is Twenty-one Aces. The party sits round a big table with a set of poker dice. The person who throws the seventh ace, suggests a drink, Bovril and Bourbon perhaps, or Horlicks and Heineken. The person who throws the fourteenth ace mixes it, usually in sherry glass quantities, and the unfortunate person who throws the twenty-first ace drinks it, to howls of mirth.

A great success at office parties, and with all ages at home, is Squeak Piggy Squeak. Players sit in a circle. One player is blindfolded and given a cushion, and sits down on someone’s knee. Without touching the victim, he then says, ‘Squeak piggy squeak‘, and has to guess from the ensuing squeals and giggles who the person is.

A more sophisticated version, which we played very successfully at one of our Christmas parties but which only works if everyone knows each other, is Grope. Again, one of the party is blindfolded and sits down on a chair. One of the rest of the party is silently selected, and the blindfolded groper has to guess who it is by feeling them. Amazingly, wives and husbands seldom recognise each other — one can only assume that they make love with their eyes open and the lights on.

Board games like Mid-life Crisis, which tells you how to avoid divorce, can be tricky when marriages are under a strain at Christmas. Never play the Truth Game. Two married couples who were devoted to each other started playing it while out to dinner on Boxing Night. Husband Number One proceeded to tell Husband Number Two that he should lose weight; whereupon Husband Number Two told Wife Number One that she was a boring suburban housewife and ought to get a job; whereupon Wife Number One turned to Wife Number Two and told her that she had the most disturbed children in Putney; whereupon Wife Number Two turned to Husband Number One and told him that Wife Number One was being knocked off by Husband Number Two. The result was two divorces and neither couple ever speaking to each other again.

Unless everyone’s very bright or good at general knowledge, it’s not a good idea to do the Observer or Sunday Times quiz as a communal exercise. Someone’s bound to be left with a feeling of inferiority; and Grandpapa may well think again when he realises that he’s forking out k6000 a year of unearned income to educate a grandchild who can’t answer a single question.

`You shouldn’t have asked Mummy to act “Turkey in the Straw!” ‘

Trivial Pursuits, wildely popular at the moment, can also lead to inferiority complexes. One Gloucestershire wife solemnly sat down and learnt all the answers before Christmas.

The latest refinement, Sexual Trivial Pursuits, which asks players questions like ‘What is a sequential orgasm?’ or ‘What is tribadism?’ is a very bad family game, and ought only to be played with your own generation. A friend described her 78year-old admiral stepfather thundering out his answers wearing a plastic rain hat acquired from a Harrods cracker and being listened to in amazement by two seven-year-old granddaughters. Don’t get involved in a game if you want to get away from lunch before 7.3o p.m., or you’ll be thought the most fearful spoilsport.

Noël’s very favourite game at Christmas only needs two people. He and Ms Stress each sit down with a bottle of whisky and a glass. Both finish drinking their own bottle; then one of them goes out of the room and knocks on the door, and the other has to guess who it is.

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