Oct
27
Posted by dodo
Gordon Selfridge used to give all his staff a plum pudding and a pep pill at Christmas, presumably because he realised the pressures they would be under.
Commuting, in particular, in the run-up to Christmas is absolute murder, with cars and buses at a standstill, and all the tubes and trains crowded out because everyone’s pouring into the big cities to shop or see the lights. On the way home from a hard day’s work you are liable to find everyone either festively drunk, or helping someone else to be sick. Read the rest of this entry »
Oct
27
Posted by dodo
When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus she went and sang the Magna Carta.
Schoolboy Common Entrance essay Christmas approaches. Realising that the children will soon be breaking up, Scarlett O’Aga steps up her panicking. Buckling under Christmas shopping, she staggers past boutiques pounding out sexy pop music, and wishes that she had a salary to blue on party glitter and was at an office party being propositioned. Read the rest of this entry »
Oct
22
Posted by dodo
How exciting! the children are breaking-up from school today. Scarlett has already collected little Nicholas and Carol from their primary schools, and is driving down to Berkshire to collect Holly from boarding school. Noël has taken the afternoon off to collect Robin from his boarding school. As usual, the end-of-term carol service takes twice as long as scheduled, and even the sight of pretty mothers in fur coats coming out of chapel doesn’t cheer up Noël, who’s been champing outside in the Volvo for forty minutes. Read the rest of this entry »
Oct
18
Posted by dodo
My heart leaps up when I behold a reindeer in the sky.
Now the children have broken up, it’s time for a trip to Santa’s Grotto. In Stroud this year, it only cost Sop for a visit and a present, and you could have your photo taken with Santa as well.
Playing Father Christmas these days is a pretty taxing job. In department stores, Santas must never ask a child how Mummy and Daddy are, because so many parents are divorced, and long explanations hold up the queue. Instead he must ask, ‘How are the folks?’ Nor must he say ‘Yo Ho Ho’ Read the rest of this entry »
Oct
18
Posted by dodo
Man is born free but is everywhere in paper chains.
In a pathetic attempt to be more creative last year I got a book on Christmas decorations out of the library. I could have Christmas at my fingertips, the author advised me brightly, by learning how to make a simple evergreen corsage, how to decorate an outdoor tree, how to make my own candles, and, worst of all, how to give a gala air to breakfast on Christmas morning. Read the rest of this entry »
Oct
01
Posted by dodo
Despite Noël’s claim that even numbers don’t matter, Scarlett is fretting about the shortage of spare men. Some girl rings up to cancel.
`Oh goodee, I mean oh gosh, how sad,’ says Scarlett, ‘We MUST get together in the New Year.’
Zero hour. The house is radiant with candles; the carpets stretch out, virginal. Fortunately, between parties, memory blots out the sheer terror that always grips her before everyone arrives, when all Scarlett craves is a quadruple vodka laced with Valium which would lay her out for ever. Outside, Robin and his mates, already blue with cold, wait stamping their feet, to help park the cars. Read the rest of this entry »
